kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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