people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
