i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
not ubering you a puppy
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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