I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize