just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
