I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
