I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I wish you could order shots online.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
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