Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I enjoy the company of your penis
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
