Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
