I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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