I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
