I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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