another moral hangover. fuck.
if only i could text you this smell
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
