Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
