I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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