Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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