this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
It's just like the Real World with babies
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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