So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
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