He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Randomize
