So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
