The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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