im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
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