'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
At least life still wants to fuck me.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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