erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Randomize
