I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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