yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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