Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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