Its about making memories worth repressing
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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