while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Randomize
