Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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