Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
