What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
