Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
