I want to stick my p in your. b.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Randomize
