somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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