More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Randomize
