Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
