Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
