I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Everclear isn't food dammit
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
