I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
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