All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
