dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
