Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
ttyl tear gas
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
