I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize