have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
