I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
