I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Randomize
