9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
