Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
