Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
