Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
