he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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