this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Randomize