he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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