Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
