Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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