i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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