Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
the liver wants what the liver wants
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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