It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
