Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
