I'm laying in your front yard are you home
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
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