I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
