rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Your penis caused this!
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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