I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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