So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Someone shattered a urinal.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
