He kissed a someone with a penis
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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