can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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