Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Randomize
