So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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