Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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