I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
