Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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