yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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