I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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