I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
