That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
