So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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