he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
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