i'm lost and i look like a hooker
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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