I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Randomize
